Unintended side effect of being a Stay at Home Dad
(Photo above is from Sonja Louw Photography)
Well what a few weeks it’s been.
It’s been such a busy few weeks and my writing has yet again fallen by the wayside! Where to start…well August is birthdays galore. My wife, mum, best friend and twins just to name a few! I'll throw some cool pics of the twins birthday up soon.
Next thing was that my wife had some major surgery done and has been home for just over two weeks. She was in a lot of pain so couldn’t really move or do much. Then all 3 girls got sick at the same time, then I eventually got sick myself! I tell you what, I’ve been home over a year now and I still don’t know how mums do it. They are truly superwomen. Having to take care of 4 sick people and myself was so draining! But thankfully we got through that. Having my wife home during that time did allow for an interesting but kinda sad observation, which is today’s topic:
The unintentional side effect of being a stay at home dad.
Don’t get me wrong, this last year has been one of the best years of my life, even if I’ve felt like a fish out of water for lots of it! So it’s not a negative for me, but it is for my wife and here’s why…I noticed that when the girls were upset, tired or wanted a cuddle, the first person they would come to would be me. If the girls were crying, she’d try to call them over but because I’ve been the main one at home, if I was in the room, they would come to me first. Sometimes our oldest wouldn’t give her a kiss goodnight, but would give me one.
Each time something like this happened, I could see the disappointment on my wife's face. I could see her heart breaking a little each time. I think I understand why too. Naturally, kids and their mums normally have quite a special bond. It’s not to say she still doesn’t have a bond, but me being the main parent at home means they’re more used to me, that’s all.
Let’s flip this around the other way. If a kid hurts themselves and they run to their mum first instead of their dad it probably won’t make the dad feel that bad. Because that’s kind of normal isn’t it? At least I think it is. Even as adults we sometimes still wish mum was there to make us better when we’re sick or hurt. If all our girls went to their mum first for kisses and hugs it wouldn’t bother me much. But I can tell it bothers my wife, even if just a little, that they come to me. I do try my best to make sure that I’m not “taking over” when we’re both around either.
I don’t have an answer as to what to do, I’m not sure there is one…so what do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Comment below or on my Facebook page. But wait, there's more....
In other news, I said in my last post that I had one of the birthday gifts I’d ever done. However…and it’s a big however…I delivered it a year late! I seriously underestimated how much work it was going to take to make it.
What I did was that I had to write “something loving/positive/good/nice about her each day for 365 days.” I couldn’t repeat myself either. It was a tough assignment! I then had to edit and proofread it all myself (she normally proofs for me!) add pictures and then nail the layout. Trying to find the time to do all this secretly was tough. It sounds simple, but boy was it a real test! But I was very pleased with the end result.
What do you think about my birthday gift? Still awesome, or do I lose points for late delivery? Maybe an 8/10 instead of 10/10? Haha, thanks for reading, have a great week!